Communications 101 – Sharing Your Heart

Who's your confidante?

From the time I was young, I got used to moving around a lot. I’ve traveled much of this glorious world (though not as much as I would have liked – yet!), and I’ve now lived in three different countries.

Growing up I sometimes felt envious of people who had known their group of friends since kindergarten – I early sensed the richness of having access to that kind of companionship.

All the same, I have been blessed with many lifelong friends, some near and some scattered around the world. These are the kinds of friends that you can pick up with right where you’ve left off – whether you saw them last week or 5 years ago. These are the kinds of friends who are worth their weight in gold!

One of the reasons I value this type of friendship so much is that I witnessed my parents being torn from their own roots when we moved across the country to where we mainly knew no one. And while family is beautiful, it makes it very tough on the existence of young parents when there doesn’t seem to be anyone around to confide in, to share the everyday joys, troubles, and even hum-drum experiences of life.

Human beings were meant to exist in community. Withdrawing yourself from this community for an extended period of time only causes problems – unhealthy introspection, loneliness, depression, limited perspective, defensiveness, lashing out…we just aren’t meant to be alone!

Having friends from various walks of life to confide in broadens your perspective. It provides a safe, healthy outlet, refreshment, joy – even correction when you need a little help in steering your course.

In my life I’ve witnessed a few groups that are very prone to excluding themselves from a community of confidantes for a period of time – young married couples, new parents, and home based business entrepreneurs seem especially prone to this mistake. Sadly, by the time they come to realize it, it can be too late to salvage what they had before.

There are many different kinds of confidantes for the different areas of life. There are friends you can tell anything too, coaches you may call upon for a certain aspect of business, therapy, mentorship, spiritual counsel. Those who value and take advantage of these kinds of relationships the most are often the most successful – they’re usually the ones you look at and wonder, “Just what is it that they have?”

When you’re working from home, the need for people to confide in only becomes greater. You need both personal and professional acquaintances you can be honest with – people that you don’t need to keep up the show around. You need people to sharpen you as iron sharpens iron, lest you get lost in your own perspective, harming your spirit and your business.

A Cord of Three Strands...

Have you ever struggled really hard to communicate something and found that you just couldn’t get your message across?

This happens to me all the time with my husband. I try to explain how I’m feeling, and I just can’t seem to find the right words.

Before we married, we both read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus – and honestly it was quite an eye-opener!

Everyone pays lip service to the idea that men and women are different, but I’ll admit suprise at how very different they REALLY are! Of course, marriage is where most people discover this idea at the deepest level – and it’s usually discovered pretty fast!

But what is it that you always hear is at the top of the list of marital advice? Effective communication is key.

Even though I can’t always convey my exact meaning to my husband, I really believe reading that book and others like it has helped us get through more than one sticky patch in terms of understanding where the other person is coming from.

Of course, this works the same way in your business. You not only want to know who your target market is – you want to know how they’re thinking and how that compares to how you’re thinking!