Communications 101 – Sharing Your Heart

Who's your confidante?

From the time I was young, I got used to moving around a lot. I’ve traveled much of this glorious world (though not as much as I would have liked – yet!), and I’ve now lived in three different countries.

Growing up I sometimes felt envious of people who had known their group of friends since kindergarten – I early sensed the richness of having access to that kind of companionship.

All the same, I have been blessed with many lifelong friends, some near and some scattered around the world. These are the kinds of friends that you can pick up with right where you’ve left off – whether you saw them last week or 5 years ago. These are the kinds of friends who are worth their weight in gold!

One of the reasons I value this type of friendship so much is that I witnessed my parents being torn from their own roots when we moved across the country to where we mainly knew no one. And while family is beautiful, it makes it very tough on the existence of young parents when there doesn’t seem to be anyone around to confide in, to share the everyday joys, troubles, and even hum-drum experiences of life.

Human beings were meant to exist in community. Withdrawing yourself from this community for an extended period of time only causes problems – unhealthy introspection, loneliness, depression, limited perspective, defensiveness, lashing out…we just aren’t meant to be alone!

Having friends from various walks of life to confide in broadens your perspective. It provides a safe, healthy outlet, refreshment, joy – even correction when you need a little help in steering your course.

In my life I’ve witnessed a few groups that are very prone to excluding themselves from a community of confidantes for a period of time – young married couples, new parents, and home based business entrepreneurs seem especially prone to this mistake. Sadly, by the time they come to realize it, it can be too late to salvage what they had before.

There are many different kinds of confidantes for the different areas of life. There are friends you can tell anything too, coaches you may call upon for a certain aspect of business, therapy, mentorship, spiritual counsel. Those who value and take advantage of these kinds of relationships the most are often the most successful – they’re usually the ones you look at and wonder, “Just what is it that they have?”

When you’re working from home, the need for people to confide in only becomes greater. You need both personal and professional acquaintances you can be honest with – people that you don’t need to keep up the show around. You need people to sharpen you as iron sharpens iron, lest you get lost in your own perspective, harming your spirit and your business.

It’s all very well to have a lot of friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter, but greater depth is necessary.

When it comes to your life as a business entrepreneur, take a moment to take stock and find out if you’re doing enough to share and be sharpened. Are you at the healthiest point when it comes to being a part of community?

• Do you have friends that you get in touch with on a regular basis – whether it’s over the phone or in person? Do you believe it’s worth the effort to reach out if you don’t have anyone close to you right now?
• Do you have a mentor or coach for your business – someone who has gone before you and can assist you over the rocky parts of working on your own?
• Do you accept criticism and advice from experts, offering your product, service, website, copy, sales techniques, etc. to those who can tell you how to do it better? Are you willing to take their advice?
• Do you belong to any mastermind groups or networks where you are actively involved (not just standing on the sidelines as a way of getting exposure) – both taking from and contributing to the group?
• Do you recognize the importance of having a spiritual adviser, taking into account that we are not just our bodies or our intellect?
• In areas of struggle (weight, anger, depression, etc.) do you seek out advice and assistance, or is your attitude to go it all alone?

If you’re not answering an honest yes to many of these questions, it may be time to reach out your hand – no matter how hard it may seem – and start asking for community.

John Donne said, “No man is an island”.

As simple as that statement is, it is more true and profound than many let on. Being a business entrepreneur not only involves serving your community, but being served by a community. When you allow this, you will find more peace, success, ease, and natural communication in all that you do – whether it involves your private life or public life.

Don’t let yourself be alone in this world – life is just too short!

If you’d like to explore co-creation with a freelance editor to see how you can make your message more powerful, e-mail me at kelly (at) sharingyourheartservices.com to ask your questions or set up a free consultation.