Communications 101 – Sharing Your Heart

Does your message come across boldly? Or as a timid whisper?

I’ve always been a reader (since the age of four I’ve rarely been seen without a book in my hand) and it followed that English was always my favorite subject in school. My mom is an English teacher too, so I suppose it was all a bit of a natural progression.

If you think back to your school days, you’ll probably agree with me that English teachers are a bit of a different breed. One of my high school favorites was a teacher who had friendship with the students down with a perfect mix of still getting them to learn, something that can take years to master.

I came to her class after she’d been in the position for over 30 years. I remember her telling us stories about her crush on Mel Gibson,  mildly risque incidents from the Renaissance Festival she brought her classes to every year, and being allowed to watch Monty Python & the Holy Grail in school, which my friends and I thought was just the coolest thing ever.

But what I remember most from what she taught me – above the fun times and the more serious lessons – was a simple rule in writing that literally changed my entire perception around communication.

In the world of books I had lived in from a young age coupled with a great love of learning, I was ahead of many of my peers when it came to writing. But through various life circumstances, I lacked a very important quality in what I wrote – confidence.

My main downfall was using the words, “I think” – and I used them a lot. “I think this play, this author, this work, is teaching us…etc.”

I didn’t really see it as a big deal, but the truth is, I was afraid to make any kind of statement in my writing. I always had to temper it with something – to tone it down – to apologize for what I wanted to say. “In my opinion…It’s possible that…I think…”

My English teacher was having none of it. Oh how the red pen flew across those pages! She crossed out weak sentences, showing me how they could be stronger, bolder – completely unapologetic.

At first, I was upset. I had been coasting along, believing I was right. I was a good student. Why did she have to pick on me so much? At any age or stage in life, it’s difficult to take criticism – even from a person whose experience is much more vast than your own.

But in the end, I listened to her – and I am still thankful for it.

I refined my writing, making a conscious effort to be unapologetic. I saw the power those words held when I no longer confined them to the realm of my own ‘unworthy’ opinion. I even saw the power I was placing into the hands of the reader, who would now have their own decision to make of whether or not to take my words at face value – and I had to give them that right.

That one simple principle assisted in leading to more confidence in other areas of my life, showing me how just a little shot of confidence can go a long, long way (and how having an honest critique can make more of a difference than you’d imagine!). I see it now as one of the steps that led me into being a freelance editor with the desire to assist others in learning this very lesson.

I recently had this message confirmed to me in a lesson from a very successful Internet Marketer. She taught me that however you market, it’s important to position yourself as the expert. A trap many entrepreneurs fall into is the “we/our” syndrome – bringing themselves to the level of their market in the effort to identify with them.

The truth is, people don’t want someone who seems mired in the same problems they have to help them – they want someone who is above it – someone who can offer the solution. “I have the solution for you” vs. “There is a solution for all of us”.

What sounds more powerful to you?

If your mind is starting to drift toward a natural objection now, let me answer it by saying: This is not arrogance. If you are an expert with a product or service to sell, it is not arrogance to make bold statements to proclaim yourself as the one with the answer.

In fact, if you’re not doing that, why should I trust you?

You can be friendly, caring, altruistic, service-oriented, and the best you can be for your market – but if you are not boldly communicating all these things and more, you’re just not going to get very far when it comes to finding people who will listen to you.

Is there anything holding you back in the boldness of your communication? Could your copy or sales presentation use a boost of confidence? Take a small self-inventory now of your writing style:

• Are you apologetic for what you are teaching or sharing? Do you often qualify your statements with words like, “In my opinion…” or “I think…”
• Do you frequently use words like We, Our, Ourselves, Us, etc. in reference to your product or service and the problems it will solve?
• Do you feel guilt or shame about being bold about who you are and what you are sharing?

If you are doing or feeling any of those things, consider how you might change your outlook in a small way. First, ask yourself if you really believe that your product or services is something worthwhile – something that will help people in a big way while honestly earning you an income.

If you can answer yes to that, know that you’re in the clear. You don’t have to be afraid of what you’re sharing – all you have to do is put it out there and allow your readers to make up their minds.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life about confidence, it’s that confidence is attractive to people. I am without a doubt that you’ve witnessed that very phenomenon – and it’s time to start making it work for you in the way you communicate.

If you’d like the assistance of a freelance editor in making your copy more powerful, e-mail me today at kelly (at) sharingyourheartservices.com to set up a free consultation.